No, it’s not a new food network show where I star as a hot new cooking celebrity who highlights amazingly delicious and surprisingly healthy vegan treats… although that’s an idea. I’m not quite as technologically gifted as the uber-talented Hal Sparks, and of course can’t afford all those nifty gadgets and gizmos, but I have a video camera and an oven… so I wouldn’t put it past me.
(Move over, Paula Deen.)
No, what I am referring to is an article I read about the anti-inflammatory properties of ginger – the root. With my ongoing back issues, and my distaste of being stuck on these stupid pills, it’s going to be an avenue I’ll pursue in the next few weeks while I still have a paycheck and can afford to treat these symptoms and ailments naturally through my diet.
I’ve never really cooked that much with the dried ginger spice, so working with fresh ginger is going to be an interesting experiment… if anyone has any recipes feel free to share.
I haven’t really heard much more about the impending layoff, but from the looks of things around my company I pretty much can read the writing on the wall.
Although they’re hiring still… which is odd…
All the cubicles that had been so nicely decorated for the individuals who sat there are now stripped bare except for a couple of generic company instructions. Gone are the client materials that used to hang just within eye level where we could use them.
Also gone are the client logos which used to hang from the ceiling in reassuring banners. Now it’s just the company’s logos, which makes me kinda question if the client is just dumping the company altogether and we’re just getting our chains tugged to keep producing these last few weeks before an inevitable layoff.
I also didn’t see hide nor hair of the trainers on Friday when I went back, which makes me inclined to believe they may be off site getting training of their own for possibly a new (or existing) client.
Add to that, right now while we’re on the supposed chopping block to get our numbers up the company or client one has decided in their infinite wisdom (?) to toss us all to the dogs with this new device they’ve introduced and we’re taking calls and working on this thing with no training or materials.
My handle time went from a reasonable 5/6 minutes to broaching 10 minutes per call.
So…yeah. I’m not exactly holding my breath.
I’m going to hang in there and if I get laid off at least there should be unemployment to get me through while I look for another job.
It’s going to be about half or more of what it would be had I not been laid off but… can’t worry about that now. I’ve got other things I need to focus on. Like finding a new job with the pay and benefits it’s so (literally) painfully obvious I need.
It’s also the perfect time to really attack the writing career with gusto. I’ve sent out four queries and am eyeballing the fifth. I’ll spend my days off this week getting material polished and things like synopses and treatments prepared.
I might even write some new material.
I’ve got to treat it like a job, and I never have. Which might be why it hasn’t gone anywhere.
Of course the Chatterbox is alive and kicking and whispering in my ear that the reason that I haven’t been repped or sold yet is because I’m just not good enough. It revels in telling me that these are smart people with actual diplomas who can tell I’m just a hack faking my way through with a dictionary and a thesaurus.
As many times as I’ve gone round and round with this stupid thing, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t affected by it, and that my esteem is a little rocky right now because of it. It’s not the first time, no doubt it won’t be the last.
The f\'n thing just won’t go away.
Tell me to do something as far as production or something mundane and I’ll master it. My confidence is through the roof and nobody but nobody can make me question my awesomeness. But when it comes to the creative stuff that depends all upon lil ol me to be “the best” I’m more inclined to believe my critics than my fans… I guess I still don’t believe I deserve to live the life I want with the success I want.
Which is when I have to remind myself what Marianne Williamson said:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Off my butt and back in the ring.
Take THAT, you evil no good Chatterbox.