Fat – the Easy Out.


Anyone who is overweight may think that putting the word fat and easy in the same sentence don’t fit, unless it’s staying fat. But one of the reasons I’ve allowed myself to stay big over the years (and even gotten bigger) has to do with the fact that by being fat, I have a lot of choices made for me.

Fat, to me, is a buffer against other people. Not just keeping the dangerous people away (like we talked about in the last vlog) but also protecting myself from being hurt by the ones that I loved too.

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12 thoughts on “Fat – the Easy Out.

  1. *claps hands* That was hitting the nail on the head baby. I so totally feel that way. I have major issues with men that start with my Dad, I grew up with him telling me that I was fat when I wasn’t really for my age. But he thought it would give me the incentive to lose weight when all it did was make me depressed and I gained more weight. He did the same thing to my sisters (I have 3 older sisters). I did have sex with one man, told him I wanted to lose my virginity and he was more then willing to do it, I had just turned 27 in Dec. and I had had sex with him in Jan (which was a bad experience). Now I have been with two women, but I didn’t let them touch me. I have a thing about touch, I don’t like to be, but I think I’m getting over that. I don’t really have any memory of my childhood and that could have something to do with it. Somethings taken from you without your permission even though it’s your own brain doing it. My mom says I don’t have many memories of my childhood because I have always been a sensitive person when it comes to other peoples emotions and Dad was never happy, always yelling and just an over all complete a$$. He is getting better though, after yelling and having had a big fight with him where a lot of my issues that I have with him came out. He’s trying to be better. I love him and that’s what counts, although I’ll never be able to trust a man nor truly love him because of my issues with my father, also my first love tore my heart out and pissed on it. So I’ve decided to stick with women unless some ultimate guy comes out of no where and proves me wrong about all men. It’s funny how your brain works. I have a deep resentment and hatred towards men, and yet I also love them and wish to be loved by a man. I also wish to find the one wither it’s a man or woman doesn’t matter to me I just don’t want to be alone.

    With my first love I gave and gave all I had to give and got nothing in return until I was taped out, then to find out that he was lying about everything. My heart was broken and it took five years to collect all the pieces now three more years later I’m still putting them back together. I almost have a full heart, just a couple of pieces are missing. And I’m tired of being sad, I’m tired of being tired, and I’m tired of being unhealthy. But I’ll tell you if it wasn’t for you guys the #charmageddon crew and Hal Sparks I never would have had the motivation to have started to care about myself again. I love you Ginger and I hope you feel loved by me and everyone else. ❤

    • You’ve given me inspiration for another vlog 🙂

      Trust me when I say this: You have to love yourself first to truly appreciate the love from other people. Despite what the poetry and love songs say, we’re the only ones who can fill up those holes and heal ourselves and love ourselves enough to truly, truly trust others and be engaged in that relationship process.

      Until we do we’re just putting a bandaid on it.

  2. Great vlog as usual, Ginger. It is very insightful and courageous. Whatever choices you make you just have to live with. If you can lose and maintain weight loss that’s great. Medically, the reality is that substantial weight loss is rarely permanent. Recidivism is very high. This may have a lot to do with failure to change destructive dietary patterns. Your journey into veganism may be life altering. I hope so.

    At some point you are going to have to confront your fears and engage with others if your weight is a defense mechanism, as you say. The blog is certainly a major effort to do so. Next you need to work these things through with Steven, a much more threatening proposition, I’m sure.

    As to Hal’s rule about things you can change being fair game, I agree with him, but only up to a point. That point is where you are really going to hurt someone, especially someone you care about, ie, he’s going to wear a Mohawk – GAG!

    • I agree with you about that kind of “up for grabs” humor. As long as someone on the other end of it isn’t hurt or alienated, then I’m cool with it. I especially don’t agree we can push acceptance of all while we continue to mock and ridicule an entire group of people based on something as superficial as body size. It just feeds into this already universal bias which does more damage than good.

      As for Steven, for Valentine’s Day I gave him what a husband deserves to her once every decade… an apology. 😉 Basically I told him that I finally recognized this was a problem and I was very sorry if I had neglected him in any way… and that I was going to work on that to make our marriage better and stronger.

      Baby steps on a very long road.

  3. you are unbelievable,raw,honest, deep I sincerely can’t wait to meet you in person we have so much in common,you are grand..much respect

  4. Brava, my friend, brava!

    I think you hit nail on the head regarding so many issues. We all have our buffers that keep us from letting other people in be it fat, isolation, or whatever it happens to be. For me it’s not allowing too many people to get close because then I can spare myself pain, but of course, what happens is I get lonely and depressed which makes me stop caring about my diet and exercise because those things seem pointless to me.

    So while my main buffer isn’t fat, I do have one–self-isolation.

    • Yeah but the argument could be made if you cease to care about your personal appearance it has something to do with that inner voice that says “we need to keep people at bay”.

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