This kind of goes along with my last post, as disclosure about how things really run in the whole HS fandom realm. There may be, actually I know there have been, those who feel because I am married what I do for and because of Hal is especially strange.
Again, obviously you don’t know me OR Steven much at all.
My husband is an amazing man. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s self confident, he’s unapologetic – and he’s completely dedicated to making me happy. He also understands what it means to be a fan. He’s a gamer and a comic book geek, a huge movie nut, loves his Denver Broncos and turns into a kid whenever he hears the Dr. Who theme song.
Basically I married a Sheldon/Leonard hybrid from The Big Bang Theory. Our first date was seeing Tron at the El Capitan in Hollywood in 1999 because he about wet himself when he saw the marquee while we were prowling around Hollywood looking for something to do.
Though I may roll my eyes at times and give him a little guff about it, I’m not complaining. I really wouldn’t have it any other way.
When I met him he even had toys, comic books, thousands of Magic: The Gathering cards we still find to this day. He had also racked up over 500 points on his AMC movie card.
Fan overload is not a foreign concept to this man, is all I’m saying.
And don’t even get me started on his history of playing darts and poker. He’s afraid to pick up golf because he knows it will be something he’ll jump into full throttle and I may never see him again.
The only difference between us is he has things whereas I have people. It’s kind of interesting how one is socially acceptable and one is reviled. If you’re a super fan of things, you’re just a geek. If you’re a super fan of people, you’re a stalker.
Now, he has his own lil crushes and his very own “laminated” list. That’s the list of celebrities you’re allowed to crush on (and, in theory, more) even though you’re married. We have a monogamous relationship and have been together for over ten years… I doubt anyone who has stayed happily married for any real length of time hasn’t entertained some fantasies.
The difference with us is we’re honest about it. There’s nothing I feel or do that he doesn’t know. And he’s not at all threatened for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that he is completely secure in our relationship.
There have been married women who are so unhappy in their relationship they want to trade in their husband for Hal Sparks. I am not one of those women. Even if it were in the remote realm of probability, which it completely is not, Steven is my perfect match. Where I fire off like a rocket, he’s the one who remains calm and steady. He doesn’t take anything I do personally, which – if you’ve ever been with a Scorpio – is rule number one.
He knows what I like and what I don’t like, what my triggers are and how to respond to all my moods. He’s Dan to my Roseanne, basically. A lot of training and molding has gone into this relationship and I’m too old to start over from scratch.
Plus I wouldn’t want to. Steven saved my life eleven years ago when he walked into it. I was so tied up and unhappy in a world where I had no voice and was nothing more than a half person trying to make everyone else happy. He saw my value when I wasn’t convinced I had any. And, even though I was a lot heavier (hard to believe but it’s true), he saw someone attractive. Instead of my dress size, he saw my brain, my heart, my personality.
Why on *earth* would I ever throw that away? Especially on someone who would drive me loo loo in the space of a month? Hal likes his way, I like my way. He’s off doing fifteen things at once, I like things a little less manic and a lot more focused. I’m way too selfish to share my men on an intimate level, with Hal you have to accept his non-monogamous lifestyle.
Plus, I just don’t think he could handle me. I’m way too emotionally high maintenance.
So Steven is not threatened in the least. Plus he happens to like Hal. The reason I’m a fan at all is Steven’s fault. He sent Hal a note in 2004 that said it would really make my birthday if I got a letter from Hal Sparks and the next thing I know I get a note that says, “A little birdie – actually that big birdie you’re married to – told me it was your birthday.”
I didn’t write Hal and would never have pursued communication at all. I had a bad celebrity/fan experience with Neal Schon of Journey (and if you know me you know how much Journey means to me) and I didn’t want to risk that kind of rejection, even though I had heard how cool Hal was with his fans.
Steven was the one who pushed me out of the box. And since then anything that has ever been asked of Hal for me usually comes from him.
Now for those who think I ignore my wifely duties to chase around after Hal, let me put this in perspective. I see Steven 365 days a year. I’ve seen Hal five times so far this year, and one of those times Steven was actually there with me.
He’d travel with me more often if we could afford it. The reason he didn’t go to Dallas last week was because he had to work. He likes Hal and he especially likes Chris Bonno, who travels with Hal. They bonded on a comic book level that leaves me wishing for subtitles for their conversations.
Plus it doesn’t hurt Steven much that all the friends I’ve made from the Hal thing tend to be beautiful, sexy, smart women…. many of whom want to clone Steven as much as Hal.
Needless to say Steven’s ego is not at all damaged by the situation.
Consider all the energy and passion I’ve thrown into supporting Hal and just multiply that by a thousand. That’s what Steven gets every single day. I take a lot of credit that as much as Steven saved my life, I saved his too. I helped him go from being a wage slave to finding a career, and because of me he’s not some apathetic loner who gets more out of playing a video game than human interaction.
Sheldon and Leonard could benefit finding someone like me, that’s all I’m saying.
So everyone can relax… everything is perfectly fine. Steven annoys me sometimes (but then again, so does Hal), but I do not chase after Hal to fill up an otherwise empty life.
He’s just the cherry on the non-dairy, sugar free sundae.