Some days are easier than others.
Some days I feel stronger and in control and able to fend off the Chatterbox and its sucker punches like a ninja with eyes in the back of my head. I’m on a more emotional even keel and can laugh at all those negative echoes that remain on this unending loop in the back of my brain.
Other days I get caught unaware, get smacked right in the nose and those whispers sound more like the roar of a freight train.
It usually happens when I’m diverting all my attention to another issue… like say, getting well after a prolonged illness.
So little things, things I know are not really issues, tap dance on all my emotional triggers until I feel myself explode inwardly like a freaking fourth of July fireworks celebration.
Though I know I’m strong, I feel weak. Though I know I’m loved, I feel insecure and fear abandonment.
And all these feelings can quite frankly kiss my ass.
I am more than my accomplishments and my deeds. I am stronger than my weakest day. I am more than the attention I do or do not get.
In other words….
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough… and doggone it. I like me!
So even if I’m dizzy as a drunk squirrel I will come up fighting and one of those punches I guarantee will land. I will shout into the roar of the chatterbox, “Say what you will but I know who I am!”
And you do not control me.