Build it… and they will come.

The next part of “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” that spoke to me was the part about self esteem. Clearly I need more of it, and the way I get it is to actually, you know, do stuff.

Two things happen when you confront a scary situation. You can avoid it and stay “safe”, or you can brave it, risk everything and then succeed or fail. Staying safe feels like a viable option but it’s really not. If you don’t break through those barriers of fear you’re wracked forever with the “what if” questions that inspire such wasted emotions like regret and guilt. Sure you’re “safe”, but you don’t feel any better. In fact you feel worse. Self esteem, naturally, erodes.

On the other hand if you risk taking a chance it’s frightening as hell, and you may experience the pain of rejection or failure, but at least you know within yourself that you gave it your best shot. You learn from your mistakes, which makes it more likely you’ll succeed the next time you try (and try again). So even if you fail, you feel empowered by your own ability to pick yourself up and brush yourself off. You know now that even if the worst happens, you can handle it.

So what have I let fear stop me from doing?

1.) Being myself
2.) Trying to sell my books (and my image)
3.) Deepening my relationships
4.) Becoming truly successful
5.) Losing weight and becoming truly healthy

The end result? I feel like a huge failure. Zero self esteem that superficially seems like it’s because of my size and my appearance, but really stems from the fact I have yet to put the work into becoming the person I want to be in all areas… not just one.

The THEN/WHEN game that says I’ll do all this when I lose weight becomes a total pipe dream, because until I actually risk my neck and *do something*, that weight is never coming off and I’ll always have an excuse not to try. I keep waiting for self esteem to magically happen that would make it so much easier to do stuff. It doesn’t work that way. Self esteem isn’t an event, it’s a journey; it’s built with purpose. It’s about feeling the fear of all the risks you take, but taking them anyway.

My friend Joy yesterday reminded me of an Eleanor Roosevelt quote that said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”

That will be the new work assignment today.

Today I will trust my opinion of my work, complete a synopsis and turn in my manuscript to an editor… something I’ve been putting off for about a month now.

No time for second guessing myself. It’s time to spread the wings and jump of the cliff and try to remember how to fly.


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