Little Victories.


Yesterday was a toughy. I woke up with a migraine, and as most migraine sufferers can tell you waking up with one in full force will eff up your entire day. Migraines are best avoided rather than cured, and for the most part of the morning yesterday I was basically useless while I tried my level best not to cave into the temptation of eating to make myself feel better.

It was the hardest challenge I’ve had yet.

Part of me was ready to just cave and call it a day. To just eat what I wanted when I wanted and just get back on program the following day. But I’d already had a “free” day this week, and if I want to see results come Weigh In Day I can’t just keep going off the rails.

Instead I compromised, had an early lunch and let the pain pills kick in for a much needed nap. By the time I woke up I was pain free and much more in control of things.

But it was hairy there for a little while. The impulse to eat was very nearly too strong to fend off. Something is hard-wired in my brain that when I feel bad or sick or hurt I *need* to eat. And after I had my early lunch (before 11am) I *did* feel better and started to get a handle on the migraine.

My body is fully aware if I do eat, I’ll feel better. And it will stop at nothing to feel better.

Oddly enough the same isn’t true for exercise, even though the results are similar. There’s no “payoff” during the exercise process like there is during the eating process. I have to wait till the exercise is over to feel the rush of endorphins that will give me that same rush.

In short… my body has to grow up. It can’t have what it wants when it wants it. It has to be challenged and pushed past its limits to grow – to be *alive*.

This morning I decided I was done waiting for my back to feel better. I have several workout DVDs, and the most fun one – the 15 minute dance routine – was calling my name from the time I got up this morning after an amazing 7 hour stretch of sleep.

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to make it through the whole thing. I only managed about 10 minutes before I had to stop thanks to a low blood sugar crash. But it’s 10 minutes more than I have been doing, which is a 140 calorie kickoff to adding fitness to my unstoppable journey.

Tomorrow I’ll do the entire 210 calorie workout, I’ll just know to eat some protein before I get started.

Plus, with 70 degree days coming up this weekend and beyond, I think it’s time to get Mr. Winston Q Pooter back to the P-A-R-K. I think some exercise in the sunshine is just what the doctor ordered to help re-frame my mood as of late.

I’ve had some low points in the last few days that have flipped some of my panic triggers. The chatterbox keeps trying to engage, and I blame the lack of proper sleep and exercise for it entirely.

I’m just as strong as I ever was – perhaps even stronger. I can do this.

I just need to celebrate each little victory as it comes.

I may not be where I want to be, but I’m no where near where I was.

My food journal, courtesy of Sparkpeople.com.

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